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Recommended Books for Separated Men

  The Verbally Abusive Relationship

by Patricia Evans
publisher: Adams
ISBN: 1-55850-582-2

It was one of the most informative books I've ever read. When I told my wife about the book and how it highlighted what she may have felt, that it really moved my heart. I personally think it was one of the elements that started us on a better path.

In summation, this book clarifies the various types of verbal abuse and the devastating effect it can have on anyone. I found the book to be interesting to read and it seemed like it was easy to understand and correlate to.

The real value to me in reading this book was to gain a much better understanding of what a wife, or spouse can feel by being the victim of verbal abuse. I have heard many men say that they never hit their wife, or had an affair, and that they simply did not understand what yelling was doing to the relationship. I’m certainly not a professional book reviewer, but feel this book will open one’s eyes to the damage of a verbally abusive relationship. I hope you enjoy it!     (Gary M.)


His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
Willard F. Harley Jr.

"What a challenge! Marriages were breaking up at an unprecedented rate, and no one knew how to stop it. So I made it my own personal ambition to find the answer."-from the new preface

Dr. Harley admits that he wasn't always the successful marriage counselor he is today. In fact, there was a time when nearly every couple who came to him for counsel ended up divorced. But rather than give up, Dr. Harley set out to find a solution to the problem. This book is the product of that commitment.

For the past fifteen years, Dr. Harley has used this book to teach couples what's most important in marriage-how to fall in love and stay in love. Now, with more than a million copies and twelve translations of His Needs, Her Needs in print, he shares the story behind the book and continues to offer readers a practical plan for creating and sustaining a passionate marriage.

Nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D. is the author of many books on marriage, including Love Busters and The Five Steps to Romantic Love.

ISBN: 0800757793
(15th anniversary edition)
Format: Hardcover, 219pp
Pub. Date: April 2001
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group

  God! I Can't Take It Any More
Surviving the Pain of Divorce and Marital Separation
by Jeff Harris

This self-help book is an in-depth look into the struggles of Christian author, Jeff Harris, as he fought through the debilitating pain of marital separation. His journey of faith, hope, and love, is both encouraging and extremely comforting.

Finally, a book that tells it like it is!
When reading this book you can tell that the author is speaking from his heart. It's not written by someone with plaques on his walls, but by someone that traveled the road of divorce, and learned life's great lesson along the way. I recommend it to anyone dealing with marital separation or divorce that wants real advice and real results. It helped me tremendously! (L. Pellissier (, a Custom 3-D Abstract Artist, 11/12/2002)

Product Details
ISBN: 1403353468
ISBN-13: 9781403353467
Format: Paperback, pp. 128
Publisher: Authorhouse

  Love Busters: Overcoming Habits That Destroy Romantic Love
Willard F. Harley Jr.

Overcoming Habits That Destroy Romantic Love. Marriage expert Dr. Willard Harley identifies the six love busters that pull marriages apart and shows how you and your spouse can learn to avoid them. You will see that once love busters are eliminated, conflicts over friends and relatives, career choices, financial planning, children, or sex will be much easier to resolve. Even infidelity or substance abuse can be overcome when love busters are defeated. The strength of your marriage depends on the passion you share for each other. So stop destroying the feeling of love and discover, instead, how to build your love with care and with time.

ISBN: 0800757793
Format: Hardcover, 219pp
Pub. Date: April 2001
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group

Love is a Decision
Proven Techniques to Keep your Marriage Alive and Lively
Gary Smalley and John Trent

I had read several books, including a couple of Smalley's other works. Didn't expect to learn anything "new," but figured I would get a rehash of everything else that I've picked up over the years. When he defined Honor and Genuine Love, it hit me in a way that it never had before - and makes complete sense. It heightened my curiosity, and made me want to explore a little further. It was the piece of the missing puzzle. I've learned new things and you will too.

This book is a must for anyone serious about making the commitment to either get married, or to strengthen their marriage. The books mentioned previously are good, but if you come out of this with a clear definition of Honor and Genuine Love, you will come out a winner and it will be worth the price!

Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: W Publishing Group (January 1, 2001)
Language: English
ISBN: 0849942683

  Hope for Trouble Marriages Everett L Worthington Jr.

How to Change:
The Power to Change your Life Rick Warren
“Lord Change Me!” Evelyn Christenson


My Anger

Make Anger Your Ally
by Neil Clark Warren

"Do you ever struggle with anger? You can suppress it, deny it, let it control you, or you can Make Anger Your Ally. Written by popular author and clinical psychologist Neil Clark Warren, it reveals how to make anger work FOR you rather than AGAINST you. In its 53 quick-reading chapters, this paperback reveals how to master anger and transform its energy into a dynamic force for positive living. Not only does the book examine the ways people commonly mismanage and misunderstand anger, but it also provides a practical and biblical "training manual" on how to successfully make anger your ally.

ISBN: 1561797073
Format: Paperback, 300pp
Pub. Date: September 1999
Publisher: Focus on the Family

  The Angry Man David Stoop


The Power of Integrity John F. Mac Arthur

  Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time
Stephen Arterburn, Mike Yorkey, Fred Stoeker

This Will Change Your Life!
I just finished reading this book and I found it absolutely amazing. Dealing with a sexual struggle for a long time, I now feel I have the power to finally defeat it. This book just made me feel so relieved that so many men deal with my same battles and I now have gone the longest ever without giving into to sexual temptation. If you believe that any part of you is being brought down by sexual things in your life, this book is a must read. Every man really should pick this up!

ISBN: 1578563682
Format: Paperback, 256pp
Pub. Date: July 2000
Publisher: WaterBrook Press

Dr. Henry Cloud / Dr. John Townsend
ISBN: 0310247454
Pub. Date: March 2002
Publisher: Zondervan

I really like this book. I know first hand the effects of not being assertive and expressing clear boundaries all for the sake of being 'nice'. I have learned through life that standing up for yourself in not being nice nor mean, but being a steward over the life that you have been given and knowing your limits. Reading this book helped me to weed out some mistakes from the past and I believe it will help me to make better decisions in the future.
  Boundaries Face to Face:
How to Have that Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding

A practical handbook on positive confrontation by the authors of the award-winning and best-selling Boundaries
Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships. They have discovered that uncomfortable--even dangerous--situations can often be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don't know how to go about having difficult conversations. We see confrontation as scary or adversarial. We're afraid to ask a boss for a raise or talk to a relative about a drinking problem, or even address a relational conflict with a spouse or someone we are dating.

In Boundaries Face to Face authors Cloud and Townsend take the principles from their best-selling book Boundaries and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships.

ISBN: 0310221528
Pub. Date: September 2003
Publisher: Zondervan



Every Women’s Desire

Stephen Arterburn / Fred Stoeker

  Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman (Paperback)
by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey

This is a book that could change your life! (Review from
I am a woman who is married to a man much like one of the authors (By the way, contrary to another reviewer, I would never describe them as "abusers." They simply didn't understand how much pain they were causing their wives by their actions.). I know my husband loves me deeply, but he has never really understood how to connect with me so we can enjoy the fantastic sex life he (and I) wants! This book is about mutual submission, and any husband who takes it seriously will reap rewards that he has only dreamed of. Men, your wives want what this book describes more than anything else in life. I had given up that anything like this was even possible after 20 years of marriage. For one thing, I couldn't even describe it to my husband so he understood, but these authors have been there and figured it out, and they speak to men like men. They found these answers by seriously seeking God and asking Him to show them what their marriage was really supposed to look like (after some serious problems, which almost destroyed their marriages and their wives!). If you are serious about having the most fantastic marriage that God intended for all of us, then read this book and live it like these guys are. (L. Cheeley)

Paperback: 288 pages
Publisher: WaterBrook Press; 1st edition (October 16, 2001)
ISBN: 1578565227


The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
Gary Chapman

This isn't the first book to point out that what communicates love to you might not mean a thing to your mate. But Gary Chapman says it the most clearly, and most convincingly. His well-defined languages explain why so many well-meaning spouses find expressions of love so frustrating.

I would have finished reading it cover to cover at one time if I didn't have to go to work that day. This book truly is such an eye-opener. From reading this book, you will understand exactly what those five love languages are and exactly which language you and your loved ones speak. You will understand and be able to apply instantly what you learned. You will know how to eliminate misunderstandings, miscommunications, frustrations, confusions, any hurt feelings, and fights, which are a waste of energy. It is easy to 'get the big picture'. Your efforts will be simple, to the point, effecient, and deeply appreciated. This book is easy to understand and the things you learn are so exciting. A light bulb turned on in my head with every chapter that I read. And it's not just for romantic relationships only. You can use this to improve your relationships with family and friends too. I would recommend this book for any person who wants to have more happier and healthier relationships in his or her life. This book could save your marriage, or your relationship with your child and/or your parents, and/or friends. Get this book to change your life.

ISBN: 1881273156
Format: Paperback, 203pp
Pub. Date: July 1995
Publisher: Moody Press
Edition Description: REISSUE

  Communication, Key to Your Marriage Norman Wright
  Knowing Your Purpose

Purpose Driven Life Rick Warren
  Knowing God

The Silence of Adam Dr. Larry Crabb
  The Top 10 Books for Men in a Marriage Separation
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